Operation KITTY
by tehbeastxx
Summary: Akatsuki back in action with more world dominating. What happens when the team goes on a hilarious journey to find the few Sage cats left on earth. Lots of Akat-action and LOTS OF FUN.
1. Mission

Here it is. ^^ Happy reading!

* * *

"Konan, is everyone here?" inquired Pein in his usual cold voice.

"just waiting on Hidan and Kakuzu"

No one spoke at the Akatsuki lair. There was a meeting called by their leader to discuss their next mission.

The last two arrived a few minutes later, covered in blood and filth.

"Sorry we're late boss. We ran into some trouble."

"Oh. Why am I not surprised?" mocked Deidara.

"Correction, _You_ ran into some trouble and got your ass kicked. I had to drag you out."

"Yes, trust the zombie boy to save the day." Kisame commented.

"It was nothing, and I did NOT need you to help Kakuzu." Hidan said glaring at his partner. "I could've handled those brats myself."

"Yeah, especially when you were stuck on a tree with ropes tied around your arms and one leg missing." Kakuzu said lamely.

"why is it always these two?" sasori muttered under his breath.

"I could've took care of em without legs. Kakuzu stop pushing all the blame onto me, it was partly your fault as well."

"I saw it. It was quite funny actually." Zetsu commented.

"**Hidan you should really watch what you say next time, not when there's witnesses." **Zetsu's other half continued.

"And who would believe you cactus?" Hidan shot back.

"Finished?" Pein exploded. "I do not call meetings for you people to argue every single time. We have more serious matters to discuss."

"Blah Blah Blah. Another serious mission ...it's important you listen..." Hidan mimed. "Just to the point already?"

Pein gave Hidan the death stare but didn't talk back. "We have a new mission." He turned and said to the nine people standing in front of him. "It is one of the oldest tales." He continued.

"Hundreds of years ago it is said that there once lived cats. Not ordinary cats but sage kitties. They lived forever as a big family. But as the number increased, they started to expand and take more ground. Soon they were divided into two main groups and were supported by various families. They fought for the crown."

"Why are there always these gay history lessons before every mission?" Deidara interrupted. "Tell us what to do, we do it. End of story."

"Shut up Deidara." Sasori grunted. "Do you want to get killed?"

"I see Deidara-san actually has a point." Hidan said slowly. "My head is shutting down to all this crap."

"I doubt it was ever on" Kisame said.

"You little shit." Hidan shouted. " At least it can handle more than that fish brain of yours."

"Chill guys. This ain't a war among ourselves." Deidara chuckled. "Although it would be fun to watch Hidan lose to a 'shark brain'."

"why don't you all shut the fuck up and listen to Pein?" Konan said. "You can save your little insults for later."

"Our next goal is to capture the sage cats and control them to aid us in the process of reconstructing the world." Pein started again after everyone has settled down.

"They can give and store masses amounts of chakra, containing even more than even jinchuurikis." Konan added. "There are only four left alive in the world. The others have all been killed by the fight that occurred hundreds of years ago."

"If they have loads of chakra, how do we kill them?" Hidan asked.

"yes they do have lots of chakra, but they cannot perform ninjutsu by themselves." Konan explained. "But they can absorb ninjutsus, which make them dangerous."

"Great! They can just absorb the ninjutsu we use against them and suck us dry, then one blow to the head and..." Hidan complained.

"there is a limited amount of chakra the cat can absorb from jutsus." Pein said. "Once we capture them, an unsealing would have to be done for them to be a storage to us."

"hm.. and where do we find these 'cats' exactly?" Itachi asked.

"That'll be up to you guys to find." Konan said. "good luck everyone"


	2. Tsunade finds out

Ok. Basically this is set at the beginning of Shippuden, after Naruto returns to the village but after the normal series, after Sasuke leaves the leaf village.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

* * *

"What a pain." Kisame said as they headed to the sand village in search of the 'kitties'. Every pair had an allocated country to search. Itachi and Kisame was ordered to search the sand village.

"Hm..But this is to your advantage, since you have the samehada..." Itachi said.

"Yes. He's going to have a good time." Kisame said, smiling.

--------

"Here we come fire assholes. We're headin for the kitty~~" Hidan sang.

"Hidan, shut the fuck up."

Hidan continues to sing...

"This is just going to be so fun..."

They make progress to the fire country.

--------

*woosh* Deidara and sasori sits on the clay bird.

"So Sasori-sama. I have a feeling this is going to be interesting.. hm?"

"..."

The bird heads to the lightning country.

--------

It was a beautiful bright and sunny day at Konoha, but not so in the Hokage's office...

Tsunade slumped her fist down the table hard, causing the surrounding people to step backwards. "How could the Akatsuki find out?" she said in such a voice that threatened to explode. "This was kept secret by every village and a treaty was signed to protect these remaining sage cats. Natsu, Nami, Jukai and Sukai."

"I say we just kill them and make sure the Akatsuki doesn't get them." Naruto said carelessly.

There was a quick movement and BANG.

Followed by swearing.

Naruto was under the pile of rubble of the wall which now had a massive hole in it.

"ouch" Jiraiya, one of the legendary Sanins whispered under his breath.

"Naruto, enough of your stupid ideas and comments." Tsunade said, walking back to where she was standing before. "These cats are very important and sacred to our world. There are only four left"

Naruto stood up slowly, one hand on the wall to keep him steady and the other on his head, making sure it was still there. _This woman is crazy_ he thought. _A finger and I came flying into the wall; fortunately my head is still on my body._

"Can't they make more cats?" Naruto said after he checked every part of his body was still in place. "I mean male and female... you know..."

He didn't get to finish what he was saying because Tsunade snapped.

"DO YOU HAVE ANY FUCKING IDEA HOW IMPORTANT THESE SAGE CATS ARE ???!!?! AND YOU GO AROUND MAKING JOKES ABOUT THEM AS IF THEY WERE NORMAL ONES ON THE STREET?" The place seemed to be shaking. "NARUTO, ONE MORE INSULT AND YOUR HEAD WILL BE _COMING OFF_ YOUR HEAD NEXT TIME."

"WHOA, whoa. Chill lady. You can't do that! I'm the nine ta-."

Tsunade charged forward with incredible speed and knocked Naruto backwards. Everyone looked out the _second_ hole in the wall and saw Naruto crashing _through_ several glass walls and finally lay limp on the ground, knocked out cold.

"Any other comments before we continue?" Tsunade inquired, still steaming.

"There goes her shit fit of the day." Someone muttered under their breath.

"WHAT WAS THAT KORTETSU?" Tsunade shot at one of her assistants.

Backing away, he answered "Umm... nothing important Tsunade-sama. My work here is done I should be..."

BANG. CRASH.

And he ended up next to Naruto, out cold.

"The Organisation has been quiet lately, and we predicted that they were planning for something and we were right. My spies tell me that they're on the move. At first we didn't know what they're plan was but after their location and direction they were heading to, we're sure they're after the legendary sage cats."

"Hm. This is a bad situation. If the Akatsuki gets their hands on the cats..." Kakashi said.

"We have to notify the villages first." Jiraiya said. "Then prepare to do whatever we can to help protect the kitties."

"I've already sent a message to the villages to keep their guard up and look out for Akatsuki." Tsunade said.

"Maybe we should also tell the sage kitties that there are people looking for them?" Sakura said.

"Yes, Nami, Jukai and Sukai have all being told." Tsunade said.

"Thats only three! What about the other one?" Sakura asked.

"The other one, is here in Konoha."

Most people in the room looked shocked. Some remained emotionless.

"Sakura, Shikamaru"

"yes" They echoed.

"Your next mission will be to explain to Natsu what has happened and warn him of Akatsuki."

"Understood." And with that they left the office. Tsunade picked up a document of some sort and started reading.

More people left, the meeting was over. Only Kakashi, Jiraiya and Tsunade was left in the room. There was silence, only to be broken by Kakashi.

"Um..." Kakashi looked _beyond_ Tsunade with a concerned and worried face. "Tsunade-sama..."

Tsunade was in thought, and didn't look up from the paper she was holding.

Jiraiya must've seen it too. "Uh, Tsunade, theres a bir-"

"Jiraiya, give me one second."

Now the faces of the two men were of shock and fear.

There was a MASSIVE pigeon right on top of Tsunade, no one had noticed it in the meeting. It looked like it was about to...

Kakashi said his goodbye and quickly bounded out of the room, leaving Jiraiya to deal with the situation.

Jiraiya only just realised that he was stuck in a room with Tsunade, with a pigeon about to...

Jiraiya heard a soft squish sound, and the pigeon flew off, sastisfied. Tsunade felt it as well. She lifted her hand and...

"JIRAIYA, YOU LITTLE BASTARD"


	3. The hole in the ground

This is probably not the best chapter... Oh well. We gotta have semi-good ones right? Next chapter should be interesting. Sorry for the EXTREMELY slow update. haven't been able to think of what happens next, but here it is, up and running. (not technicaly running but...) :D enjoy

* * *

Sakura and Shikamaru wandered through the forest, not far from Konoha, following the directions given to them by Tsunade-sama. They'd already walked for two hours, looking carefully for any clue to where the Sage cat stayed.

"In a tree within the forest..." Shikamaru recited. "How specific."

"Well it _is_ the Sage cat. It'll have to be well-hidden for the enemy not to find it." Sakura said. Secretly agreeing with Shikamaru. _There are billions of trees here... Which one does-_

Just when a tree stood out among it's fellows and struck Sakura as _different. _"There!" She said, pointing to a dark coloured pine.

Shikamaru tried to make out what was different about it compared to other trees for Sakura to point to it, squinting to make out what it was...

"I don't see what's so special abou-"

And that's when the strangest thing happened. The tree literally _twisted_ down into the ground, its leaves shrinking into the hole being created.

"Woah..." Sakura muttered with shock.

Shikamaru was stunned, unable speak.

"So this is what they call "in a tree"..." Sakura muttered.

----

Naruto woke up on a hospital bed, feeling like he'd just been run over by an elephant. Every part of his body hurt, and he could hardly remember anything.

He tried to recall what caused him to be in his current state. Retracing his steps, _I woke up this morning, had some Ramen..._

_Kakashi sensei came to get me for... _He couldn't quite remember until he saw the faces outside, carved on the giant cliff. _That's it! For A Meeting at the Old lady's office..._

Then everything came flooding back into him. Immediately, he shut himself away from those thoughts. The last vision he had was of a very angry Tsunade running at high speed at him then BAM. He wakes up at the hospital. _Ugh. _He thought. _Woman hits hard..._

_---_

Jiraiya is leaning on the wall, massaging the spot where he'd gotten hit by Tsunade. If it wasn't for his quick reaction, he'd probably be having a major concussion right now in the hospital.

"Tsunade, you should have a rest. You've been working for over two hours." Jiraiya said for the twentieth time.

Tsunade sighed and put the book down; finally given in. "This is serious, if the Akatsuki gets their hands on the cats, who knows what they can use them for." Tsunade said, rolling her neck. "An attack on Konoha would be so much easier if they had access to excess amounts of chakra, we'd be at such a disadvantage. Then the Akatsuki would carry on with their plans to destroy the world or whatever and..."

"To be put simple, if they find them, we're screwed." Jiraiya finished.

"Exactly."

"So stop worrying. What's the worst thing that could happen? Konoha gets destroyed, everyone gets killed." Jiraya said, holding his hands in the air, weighing them like a scale. "And that's not too bad."

"You can be such an ass sometimes you know?" Tsunade chuckled.

Jiraiya headed out. Waving his hand in the air as he left. Tsunade could've sworn she heard something like "I've always wanted to be an ass..."

---

Sakura and Shikamaru now stood above the hole the tree has made in the ground, pondering whether to take a risk and jump in, or, to wait and take precautions.

"We don't know if this is the _actual_ place, it might be a trap..."Shikamaru said carefully.

"Oh c'mon Shikamaru. Sometimes your senses really carry you too far."

Just as she finished, a voice ran through the hole, which made both of them jump backwards.

It was a loud booming voice, and the person, or rather _thing_, sounded angry.

---

Sasuke dragged the four eyes behind him by the collar as he approached the snake sannin.

"Explain this." He said in his usual cold voice, releasing Kabuto from his grasp.

"Now, now Sasuke-kun. Don't get heated. We haven't begun talking yet." The Sannin calmed.

"I don't give a shit. I want an explanation on why the fuck he woke me up."

Kabuto was clearly unhappy about the way Sasuke addressed his master.

"Spoiled little Sasuke, getting whatever he wants all the time." Kabuto said, not making the already pissed Sasuke any better.

"Shut up you little Son of a Bitch. I can own your ass anytime." Sasuke threatened.

"Sasuke-kun, don't throw your anger at him, I told him to get you."

"Hn,even better... I get to lash my anger out on you." Sasuke muttered to himself.

"What was that?" Orochimaru asked, playing with Sasuke's temper.

"Go die in a hole." Sasuke shot and turned to leave.

"I have a new mission for you." That seemed to get the Uchiha's attention.

He turned around and smiled greedily. "Great, I've been dying to get out of this shithole."

**REVIEW PLEASE :D**


	4. What the?

I know this took forever to come out but I couldn't get in the writing mood. I didn't have the next chapter planned in my head so I couldn't write it. But now I'm back in the mood. Let's hope updates are faster from now on. My apologies again. D: Happy reading peeps.

* * *

"You want me to go and capture you this _cat_?" Sasuke said, dumbfounded. "Why can't he---pointing at the four eyes.—do it?"

Kabuto death stared at him, unable to do anything. Orochimaru-sama wouldn't be happy...

"Not just _any_ cat Sasuke-kun." The snake Sanin said. "It's _the_ sage cat. There are four left and my spies have told me the exact location of one...but on the other hand, we only need one..."

"Piece. Of. Cake." Sasuke said as he turned to go.

"Wait, but you haven't—" Kabuto started but Orochimaru stopped him.

"Let him go." He said after Sasuke left. "And let him figure it out himself."

Sasuke walked out into the sunlight and appreciated breathing _air_. After being stuck in an underground hell hole, anyone would appreciate the landscape and the sun.

He wasn't especially interested in this mission. First of all, he undervalued his opponent. It was damaging to his dignity. Sending someone strong like him to get some _cat._ Second, it was in Konoha. If he wasn't careful, he'd run into annoying leaf brats that would slow down his process...

But of course, there was a chance he might meet the ninetails, whom he itched to pick a fight with. But that's just a rare bonus. It all depended on his luck.

----

"What do you want?" the booming voice rang through the hole.

Sakura and Shikamaru exchanged nervous glances and finally Sakura answered.

"Um... We are here on orders of Tsunade-sama to, uh...inform you of something... Natsu-sama." Sakura said cautiously, trying to be as polite as possible.

A dark figure appeared at the bottom of the hole and Shikamaru could sense a pair of eyes on him.

"Then what are you waiting for?" A much softer, sweeter and feminine voice came out from the hole. "Come on down."

Sakura and Shikamaru didn't know what to do. Was this some kind of trick?

After much consideration, Shikamaru sighed and said to Sakura "What are our chances? We take the risk and be prepared to fight."

Sakura nodded and they jumped.

---

Hidan lay in the symbol he drew on the ground, with a sword sticking out of his heart. Kakuzu sat close by, inspecting his dagger.

"I hate you, did I ever tell you that?" Kakuzu said to the sky.

"Yes, yes. That's the fifth time this hour." Hidan said, smiling to himself. "I love you too."

Kakuzu was annoyed. He was stuck with a slow poke asshole. The pair was always the last to complete their missions.

"Sometimes I just want to kill you..."

"But you can't." Hidan finished and laughed at himself.

Kakuzu sighed and shook his head. At least he had sometime of peace... And Hidan started singing.

---

Itachi and Kisame sat in a tea cafe, staring at the splashing rain outside. They'd decided to stop for a while and wait the rain out before continuing. They weren't in any particular rush.

"Hm. This is a good idea after all, Itachi-san." Kisame said, sipping some warm tea.

The waitress came over with a menu, smiled and introduced their lunch special.

"Since our store is located near the ocean, we have lots of sea food and our chefs have a speciality in cooking fish.

_Shit_. Itachi thought. He remembered last time Kisame had fish.

_A big Shark-man ran around killing everyone in sight. If it wasn't for Itachi's mangekyou sharingan, who knows what would've happened..._

Kisame seemed to enjoy himself, looking at the menu excitedly.

"hm... Everything looks delicious here. Itachi-san, what do you want?"

"Uh..." Itachi had to turn Kisame's attention off fish dishes. "What's today's special?" He attempted.

"Shark fin soup!" The girl sang.

"I'll have that! Thanks Itachi-san."

I should have known... Itachi thought.

---

BANG.

BANG. BANG.

Explosions ran out through the forest.

"Your aim is shocking." Sasori sighed.

"Hn. I don't need to be exact." Deidara said as he concentrated and produced a mass of clay.

He was pursuing some shinobis patrolling the radius of the Lightning village. He was just playing with them. Without effort, he took one out. His clay birds flew next to the shinobis and exploded just like that. One of them avoided the explosions, but was injured. As his teammates distracted the blonde, he ran the other way, to the village to inform them of an attack.

He had gone quite a way, thinking he had lost the attackers; only to be stopped by Sasori, whose tail went through the center of his heart.

"That's what I call accuracy."

"Yes Sasori-sama." Deidara smirked.

---

Shikamaru and Sakura fell.

Suddenly they were stopped by the hard ground underneath. As they regained their balance, a small figure stood a few feet infront of them.

"Move into the light. I can't see in the dark." It said. It was the voice of a little girl.

The pair did as they're told. They stepped into the light and—

"What the?"

"Holy-"

In front of them stood a small cat, with beautiful long white fur.

"Hi I'm Natsu."

**More Akatsuki or leaf shinobis in action? **

**Does anyone want Tobi to be part of it? **

**TELL ME?**

**:D**


	5. Black Flames

**Yes. So finally I've been motivated enough to do another chapter. Sorry to my readers, but here it is. R&R :D**

Sakura and Shikamaru stood dead on the spot, mouth wide open, unable to comprehend what they were seeing in front of them.

It was the Cat who started. "What?" she giggled. "You two look like you've see a ghost, and surely I don't look like one!"

"It's not you... I mean it is... but I guess it that..." Shikamaru couldn't quite find the correct words to describe what was going on through his mind.

"We didn't expect you to be like this." Sakura said at last. "Please don't take this the wrong way but we expected you to be..."

"Older." Natsu finished, happily smiling. "Oh, if you're worried about that, then there is no need! Everyone who sees me think the same way. Even my brother does sometimes."

Sakura let out a breath she was holding tightly, clenched in her stomach and Shikamaru seemed to be breathing again.

"Well, are we just going to stand here? Follow me." Natsu turned around and disappeared into the hallway.

---

"Hidan stop humping that tree and let's go back to the hideout. If we're last leader isn't going to be very happy." Kakuzu said, aggravated by Hidan's immaturity.

"I'm not- humping- the fucking- tree." Hidan said, struggling to talk. He was upside down with his feet in the air trying to reach the arm he lost, whilst trying to fend off the massive spider crawling on his face. This left him in such an awkward position that, to anyone, it would look like he was having some sort of relationship with the tree.

"No shit. I don't want to lag behind, again, because of my extremely baby-like partner who is doing something inhuman. Now hurry the fuck up so we can go.

"What does it look like I'm doing to you?" Hidan complained. "It's not my fault-" Just then he made a choking sound followed by gurgling and large intakes of air. Kakuzu turned his head slightly to see what the dick has done this time.

"I..I..I" Hidan was puking now. "That spider...it..."

Kakuzu smiled. He walked over to the tree and reached up to get Hidan's missing arm. "It's called karma." He said to the still vomiting Hidan. "Now stop messing around. Let's go."

---

The nine Akatsuki members minus two are sitting in a circle, patiently waiting for the remaining two idiots who are, consistently, always late.

"Does it ever occur to them that there are people here _waiting_ to get their hands on some brats who provide countless hours of entertainment?" Deidara sighed. His patience is very limited, and he had already pushed it further under Sasori's command.

"I bet it's that Hidan. He's like a _thing _you can never get rid of, that sticks to you and doesn't come off." Kisame muttered.

"Maybe next time you should tell them to come _early_." Itachi said, examining his ring carelessly.

"But it is quieter without that baby around." Zetsu said.

"**I'll have to agree with you on that." **His other half said.

"We could be feeding now, if it wasn't for him..."

Pein closed his eyes and tilted his head back. His meeting has, once again, failed. He sighed and thought _what will I do with the pair?_

Finally he made a decision and said "We'll wait a little longer."

There were a couple of groans and mutters, but then everything was silent.

Time ticked on and Deidara's complaints jumped in here and there and disturbed the silence but other than that, there was dead silence. No one made a sound.

Finally, having waited long enough himself, Pein announced to his teammates that he would call upon them another time and the pair would be chastised when they do show up.

With that, the team forwarded out and made their way back to wherever they were supposed to be.

---

"Tsunade-sama!"

Tsunade turned around from her intense thinking and came back to earth. "What is it?" she inquired at the rather puffed looking messenger now standing in front of her. From his forehead protector she could tell he was from the village of the sand.

"The sand village has spotted remains of shinobis around a 10km radius of the village. The patrols say there were signs of "black flames" that could not be put out."

Tsunade knew about the black flame, but has never seen one herself. It was rare to see it since there is only one person left alive who could use the jutsu.

Itachi Uchiha.

She sent the messenger away, knowing that he had come as quickly as possible to deliver the message, to a nearby Anbu station for him to get some rest and make his way back the next day. This also gave her some time to construct a plan as to what to do with the attacks. _Gee the Akatsuki moves fast. Much faster than we'd expected..._ She thought.

---

Sasuke smiled, having heard the rumors about the mysterious black flames. This meant Itachi. The person he had wanted to kill since the day his family was slaughtered and his clan wiped out. Sweet revenge has jumped out to him. This must be my lucky day, he thought, and made his way towards the sand village where the flames were spotted.

Orochimaru, that psycho, wouldn't mind if I had some fun, he thought. Plus, what's he going to do about it? He was satisfied. Finally given the chance to avenge his mother and father, and his clan, he wasn't going to let this slip down the drain.

**What does this story need? Romance? More Action? Even more humour? **

**Please tell me. Any type of review: (criticism encouraged, flames, or just how you think about It.) is appreciated. Ty for those who bother to click the button :D**

**P.s Reference to Tobi. Did anyone spot it?**


	6. A horrible discovery

**Sorry to keep you peeps waiting. I'm busy planning another story, ItachixOC. But this most definitely will keep going. Alright. Dive into the exciting world of ninjas and discover the truth behind the – you'll have to find out!**

"Ah I see..." The cat said, voice filled with curiosity. "My brother and fellow cousins have warned me about this... Now it's finally happened hm?"

"We're sorry to deliver this new to you." Sakura continued. "But it is for the protection and benefit for you and the ninja world."

"Yes I quite understand..." The sage cat continued. "Please report back to Tsunade, tell her I'll take extra security measures and be on the lookout."

The pair nodded and stood up, ready to go.

As they exited the "tree", it swirled back and again disguised itself to make it look indifferent from the others in the forest.

"What a trek" Shikamaru said, walking back to the village.

Sakura was just about to reply when a gloved hand cupped her face.

---

Pein stood facing the pair of Akatsuki members, who are annoyed and very, very late.

"So we _did _miss the meeting hn." Hidan said apologetically, hand rubbing the back of his head.

"I told you to hurry the fuck up." Kakuzu was saying. "And you had to get yourself into more trouble."

"It would've helped if you had done what I told you and get me down." Hidan shot at Kakuzu, clearly unaware of the leader.

"And who was the one screaming –I don't need your fucking help, I can handle it myself." Kakuzu shot back.

"We wouldn't have been late if it wasn't for you and your greedy self and your fucking money."

"If you took less time killing that brat we would've been on time."

"And if you'd calculated the roué correctly we would've arrived at the bounty centre _earlier._" Hidan shouted.

Kakuzu sighed. "That was you"

"Well, fuck you and the fucking world for being so fucking retarded. And also fuck that little weak shit that got me stuck in a fucking tree and fuck that spider that went down my fucking throat." Hidan swore.

"Yeah..." Kakuzu said, shaking his head. He was stuck with this – this –unstoppable swearing machine and had to put up with this crap every time he got aggravated.

The pair was so busy arguing that neither had noticed the frustrated and hopeless leader had walked away from the conversation, given up on the hopeless pair. They'll just have to do, he sighed.

Naruto sat at the Ramen bar, having gotten out of the hospital after the massive concussion he had. He was absoloutely starving, having refused hospital food for more than 2 days. He had ordered an extra large Ramen with fish cake, tofu, beef, pork – everything. As soon as the noodle was cooked he slurred down the whole bowl including the soup in less than 3 minutes.

"Ahh." He breathed. "Nothing better than a big bowl of Ramen on a sunny day!"

"hehe. Naruto you must have been starving to eat all of that." The owner – old man – said. "No one ever orders that size, except for one other person..."

Naruto was curious. "Well of course, haha. Who else can beat me in Ramen eating? I'm the best! Oh, and you mentioned one other person who ordered the extra huge size."

"Oh. Well... His name escapes me, but... I'll describe him to you. You'll surely know him... He had spiky white hair, a forehead protector just like yours and...and..."

There was no need for more detail. Naruto already knew who it was. "kakashi sensei...I didn't know he was into this stuff as well."

He paid and left the stall, pondering about the fact that Kakashi liked Ramen too. Next time he sees his sensei he's sure to be demanding for an answer...

---

Sasuke travelled at top speed, towards the "black flame" sightings. He knew he was getting closer, being provided with more and more information as he travelled. He did not dare use his sharingan, in case anyone was able to recognise it. He was also slightly disguised, not wanting to draw too much attention to himself.

Already, he was beginning to plot his murder plan. How he was going to kill the bastard and make him suffer. Him referring to Itachi of coarse. He would smile at the thought every time.

Just as he was drifting off to his imaginations, out of the corner of his eyes, he saw something that triggered the tiniest bit of his consciousness. A red cloud on black. Akatsuki.

Bingo.

He stopped immediately, and turned his head slightly, back to where he registered the infamous Akatsuki member. There he was, sitting in the nearby tea stand. His upper body was covered by curtains hanging off from the veranda. The only way to see his face was to go in, he had no choice.

Sasuke carefully approached the stand, armed and ready. HE had the element of surprise after all. Slowly he lifted the curtain and – was greeted by an orange mask. Yes you guessed it.

"Sasuke Uchiha." The man said. "You did come after all."

"Who are you, and how did you know my name."

"Perhaps we should go somewhere more private?" The man gestured towards the street. It was an invitation for information. Sasuke wasn't going to refuse, so he followed – and found himself standing in an alleyway, in front of Itachi Uchiha.

**OK. Sorry to leave you with so many cliff hangers, but your questions will be, undoubtedly, answered. Sakura fans out there, since I'm planning on killing her, pls tell me if you don't. And also, tell me what you think! **

**Want Romance?  
more humor?  
OR more action?**


	7. Tobi Good boy?

**Ty for the reviews. Alright. People want more romance, action AND humor, so yes, I AM taking up the challenge and fitting EVERYTHING into this jam packed story. Okay. This, I reckon, should start to loosen up a bit. Enough of the serious –we are going to die – parts and I'm going to try and squeeze in some twisted plot and random stuff. :D **

"That's NOT funny Naruto!" Sakura exclaimed. "I nearly...nearly... never mind." What she wanted to say was that she nearly wet her pants, but that would sound totally gross and immature, like something a boy would say. Shikamaru was trying to hold in a laugh, clearly opposite of the maniac.

"Oh-hahaha-my-*pants*-that was so—hahaha." Naruto was rolling on the floor- er ground laughing to hell.

"You could have killed me." Sakura continued, she wasn't going to let the bastard get away with this.

"You should have seen your reaction!" Naruto said with great difficulty, still having orgasms of giggles. His eyes were fully watering and his stomach hurt from all the laughter.

Shikamaru did nothing to help and Sakura could no longer take it.

"Na-ru-to!" She charged at the blonde, who was still half crouched on the ground, slightly recovering. She swung with all her might and...

She missed.

There was a moment when Naruto realised what Sakura has done and everything was silent, then he burst into another round of laughter. Shikamaru, after seeing the epic miss, didn't try to conceal his laughter either. He, along with Naruto, started cracking up, unable to control themselves.

Sakura just stood there. She was embarrassed to no end. She could feel her face heat up and turn as red as an apple. Her breathing became heavy and she was shaking. She could still not believe she missed.

"Now that _was_ funny." Shikamaru was saying.

"She-hahaha-missed-hahahaha – that's so – hahaha." Naruto was in a laughing fit again.

If Sakura didn't leave now, she knows that she'll snap, so she turned around, facing away from the two idiots and stormed off. She could _feel _the steam coming off her head.

"Where are you going Sakura-chan? Not going to punch me again?" Naruto shouted and burst into laughter again. This is the worst day of my life. Sakura thought.

---

"Tobi good boy!" the masked man exclaimed.

Sasuke sweat dropped inside. This was the man he was threatened by just a while ago.

"Tobi brought Sasuke to his brother." Tobi continued. "Tobi good boy."

"Hm.."

"What are you doing here?" Sasuke directed the question towards his hated brother. "I hate you."

"Oh. I know you do." Itachi said back.

"What do you want?" Sasuke asked again.

"I want to tell you the truth."

Sasuke drew his sword and activated his sharingan. "I'm going to kill you." He said with hatred.

"Don't say that, I'll explain everything." Itachi said with his emotionless, deep, threatening, dominating – ok enough said, you get the idea – voice.

So Itachi continued to tell Sasuke the reason behind everything. "I had to do it. I wanted to protect the village but I _couldn't _kill you."

Sasuke couldn't believe what he was hearing, he just stood there, listening.

---

And what was Tobi doing?

"Pretty lady!" Both Sasuke and Itachi averted their eyes towards Tobi. He was – and there was screaming.

Sasuke face palmed inside again. Itachi's eye was twitching. "Tobi - " He began. Tobi had lifted a girl's dress while she was facing the other side.

"You per - " the girl was going to say but stopped when he saw the man. "Oooh, hello handsome." And wrapped her arms around Tobi's neck.

Itachi couldn't believe what was happening. Sasuke just stood there and watched.

"Pretty lady likes Tobi?" He said with confusion.

"Yes..." She sounded seductive somehow...then she was all over him.

Itachi had to shield his eyes, never before has he seen such... nevermind. But Sasuke couldn't seem to get his eyes off the couple. He had his mouth open and all he could do was stare. It was not after a while, Sasuke returned to his normal self and recovered from the shock.

"Can I keep her?" Tobi was begging. "Please?" He was drooling all over Itachi, tugging at his outfit.

Itachi sighed. _Why did I bring him? _He thought.

Just at this moment, Kisame appeared at the end of the alleyway. "Itachi – san?" He looked concerned. "Tobi and..." He was lost for words.

Immediately Tobi's eyes lit up and he ran over to Kisame. "Kisame – san! You're my best friend. Can I please keep pretty lady?"

Kisame glanced at Itachi, who glared back venomously. It said –If we bring her leader sama's going to kill us-.

"Um..." Kisame wouldn't want to upset the man- no – boy.

It was Sasuke who spoke. "Tobi, you can't keep her." He said cooly. "Or I'm not going to be your friend anymore."

None of the three men standing could believe it _actually _worked. Tobi stood up and walked the girl out, reluctantly he let her go. Both Itachi and Kisame gave Sasuke a glance of thanks. Never again were they EVER taking Tobi on ANY sort of mission AGAIN.

**Haha. Had everyone requested inside? **

**Do you peeps want the story going like this – semi serious and funny – or back to before when everyone's all cautious. (which means Tobi's gotta turn back into the serious old man at the end of last chappie D:)**


End file.
